She still stood. The long gate at the edge of the hospital was the only witness to see her crying. In her hand, there was a piece of paper, which had been given by the nurse an hour ago when her name was called. A piece of paper declared about her positive cancer, which had been known since she was pregnant.

She still thought of her conversation with the doctor last week. Dr. Franklin said that she really had to keep the baby. Her pregnancy had grown and he also suggested telling the problem to her husband. “I understand it’s hard for you, but if you tell it to your husband, you will have less suffer at least”. That was the last words she could recall before she left the room.

She wanted to tell it too, but she couldn’t. She was afraid if she told about her cancer, she would ruin her husband dream of having children and having a modest house.

Sitting on the balcony and waited for her husband home, many thoughts offered. Leaving her husband was not a good decision. What a hell of life her husband would make, if she were not in his side. Besides, he was very nice, lovely and responsible. No exact reason to leave him and she loved him with all her heart. But telling the truth was not also a good idea.

Ringing of the doorbell stopped her daydreaming. She walked slowly through the door, and then opened it up. It was her neighbour, asked her whether she would join her to have a dinner with them. The answer was “no” politely. One hour had passed. Her husband’s favorite food had been served on the table of their medium dining room. She was peeling on an apple when her husband came. As usual, her husband gave her a lovely kiss. Then, sat down in front of her and loosened his tie.

He asked about her day and she explained everything including her neighbor offer. She made an override for her cancer to tell. After having the dinner, her husband sat in front of the television and she was next to him, leaning her head to her husband’s shoulder. Her husband let his arm around her and told her day in the office.

A month had been passed. Her secret made her crazy. He still didn’t know what was going on. Her health grew less and her pregnancy became weak. Looking at the condition, her husband asked her to go checking it up, but she declined it with many reasons. Once, her husband convinced her by accompanying her to the doctor, but she said she would be all right without him.

They went to the store, bought some stuff for the infant need. They enjoyed changing the wallpaper, designing the room itself. All were about baby.

The day when her husband had known about the secret was a perfect day. The sun shone brightly. It lights was reflected to everything in the world and the leaves received it pleasantly. Everything was perfect except the news he got. He felt shocked and empty.

Leaving her husband alone, she stood up at the side of the river. She felt guilty for making her husband dream fade away. What kind of decision she had made, she didn’t know. After long pause, she left the river hastily. When she reached the house, she found her husband standing, leaned his half body to the edge of the window which half open. From his deep breath, it was obvious that he still shocked.

She was at her back. Hugged him. Her husband turned around, held her back then sat to start a talk. Both of them were silent until she started to talk. “Honey, I can’t cope to kill this baby, so if I have to choose I will…” “What are you talking about?” Her husband countered her. He held her arms very tight. “Listen to me. We will face it together. There’s no reason for you or me to choose. I want both, you and our baby. Tomorrow, we will go to the doctor and I’m sure we will have the solution. He stroked her hair smoothly. “Don’t worry. Everything is going to be all right”.

They went to the doctor next day. Though they didn’t have many choices, they were completely sure there would be a hope for them.

By: Mamay